People like me aren’t supposed to be happy.
The heartless ways of a heartless person shouldn’t be able to scratch the surface of such a thing.
People are so cruel to one another, makes life cruel to begin with.
3am and the loneliness sets in. Usually I keep myself occupied with work and appointments that help distract me from whats ultimately bothering me; I’m alone. I try to enjoy the single life which for the most part involves screwing around. Sadly with the selection of gay men in Hawaii its rather depressing much to the point that I want to cry. It ranges from extremes but it seems that the consensus amongst gay men is we are all condemned to a life of hook ups and trust issues. They’ve either been cheated on or are looking for someone perfect. I was once told that gay men just find someone they can have sex with and learn to live with them. I am heartbroken beyond belief about how many gay men live in complete delusions about love. Its marred with trust issues, closet fears and ideals of perfection. It appears the urge for sex mixes with the need for love but because the idea of love is rather deluded they(we us, whatever) end up shamed and let down. I feel a lot of it is because as gay men we haven’t or been given the chance to explore our emotions and experiment openly in relationships that all our straight counterparts got to do in high school. We were taught secrecy and shame. Which is how we act when it comes to dating. Mixed in with the ungodly ideals of gay men and men for that matter in the media. Most haven’t come to terms with their sexuality let alone the concept of a relationship. Plus on top of it all gay relationships have no social rules or boundaries that straight ones do(has its pros too) m. There is a whole list of things that upset and frustrate me. Its not the reason why Im single but I thought traversing the scene was gonna be good for me but its left me way more upset and sad. Though I did realize something, I’m only looking for one. I don’t need a 100 boyfriends, conquests or lovers but if it happens it happens. At the end of it all, all I need is one person that I can love for rest of forever.
There were these 12 year old boys hanging around. As I got my food and left they were all checking me out like little prepubescent lemurs and one of them said “Can I get your number?” And I turned around and said “Why, you need a babysitter?”
Hey kids, as we approach Halloween I just wanted you guys to be careful and say DON’T FUCK WITH SPIRITS. Don’t mess with Ouija Boards, don’t talk to no dead people, don’t fuck with demons, don’t summon shit, don’t dick around in abandoned buildings. If you are considering a thing, just think, “would a white person in a horror movie do this thing?” If the answer is yes, then don’t do the thing.